I mean, this entire article is powerful and I especially love how you beautifully framed points 2 and 3. So many of our thoughts aren’t ours… and that’s incredibly empowering
no. 3 is going to stay with me — picturing the inner critic as a grumpy old man who "only knows a few sentences" is such a kind, funny way to loosen its grip. and the reminder in no. 6, that fear collects evidence but so can we, feels like exactly the kind of thing I needed today. thank you for this.💗
darling sanskriti <3 i'm glad—that image has helped me on so many days of self-doubt. thank you for reading with such a tender heart and for telling me this landed on a day you needed it. i’m so, so grateful you’re here. 🤍
What I do in situations the inner critic or anxiety or fear threaten to take over is, I take a breath and think: what is the next thing I can do right now?
Sometimes it’s fold laundry, find a friend across the room at a party I feel I don’t belong, take a shower—but there is always, always something I can do instead, even super small, and that normally helps sort the thoughts a bit ☺️
thank you, kathi!! and thank you for sharing your wisdom here. 🥹 it really resonates with me that there is always something tiny we can do instead, and that those little actions help sort the thoughts a bit. i’m going to carry this with me!
thank you again for being here and for adding this gentleness to the conversation. <3
ahh thank you, lovely!!! that shift is so beautiful and grounding. i’m going to carry that with me as well. i’m so glad you’re treating yourself kindly by reshaping the way you speak to yourself. 💌
That gap between "I am a failure" and "I'm noticing the thought that says I'm a failure" is tiny, and it's the difference between drowning and watching the water from the dock you describe. I didn't know the distance existed until well into therapy, and even now it's not automatic. Most days I have to build it on purpose, one deliberate half-second where I catch the thought instead of becoming it. What I'd add from my own experience is that the distance shrinks the more tired I am, so on bad days I aim for a smaller version: not calm observation, only naming the thought out loud so it stops pretending to be me. Small, but it holds.
jacob, this is so beautifully put, thank you. your description of drowning and watching the water from the dock is exactly what i was trying to get at, and you captured it so clearly.
i also love that you added the “smaller version” for hard days: naming the thought so it stops pretending to be you. that feels incredibly kind and realistic, and i know it will stay with me for a long time. thank you for bringing this depth and nuance to the conversation, and for meeting the piece with so much care.
this is so true. as someone who’s going through an anxiety disorder and overthinks a lot, this article has been a great reminder that I’m not alone and that I’m safe even though my brain is playing tricks on me :)
marta <3 i’m really glad the piece could be a gentle reminder that you’re not alone and that you’re safe, even when your brain is trying to convince you otherwise. i know how exhausting it can be to live with anxiety and constant overthinking, and you’re doing something really brave by naming it and looking for kinder ways to meet it.
sending you my love and hugs. i’m so grateful you’re here <3
Sofia, “What is my problem right now?” gives anxious thought a boundary and returns the reader to the moment that can actually be lived. The grumpy old man, the social spotlight, and the dock beneath the open sky each make self-observation feel practical and humane. Your final appeal to collect evidence of survival deepens the essay, since self-trust grows through remembered courage as much as present calm. Thank you for giving fear less authority while preserving the humanity of still feeling it.
rev. kevin, thank you so much for this deeply thoughtful reflection. i’m genuinely moved by how closely and kindly you read.
i love how you put this: “gives anxious thought a boundary and returns the reader to the moment that can actually be lived.” that’s exactly what that question has done for me, and it means so much to hear that it resonated that way for you too!
thank you for seeing the piece so clearly, and for taking the time to articulate it with such care. i’m really grateful you’re here and reading. ♡
I echo every reflection here, such beautiful writing, something we are deserve a little reminder of. Perhaps one of my favourite lines; "remember that you are not the storms in your mind" ♡
thank you so, so much for reading so thoughtfully. <3 it means the world that those lines landed with you, especially because it’s something i still have to remind myself of, too.
we really do deserve those gentle reminders every now and then! thank you for being here and for sharing this with me. ♡
“The I’m here to have fun” mentality really struck me because when I watch home videos of myself as a 4 year old that was exactly my energy. Everything and everyone was fun - a potential to dance and giggle and sing.
Now, will I be dancing and giggling and singing in the grocery store or the dentist? No, and definitely no because that could be dangerous 😂 But bringing that energy with me could make things interesting - or at least remind me that my little four year old self is very much still in there.
this is so beautifully written, thanks for sharing! the image of our inner critic being a grumpy old man is gold, every time I am spiraling and driving myself to tears, I will think of that so I can just...laugh.
from the first sentence, this hit so hard. I wish everyone could read this <3
thank you so much for this, my love. your support truly means everything <3
I mean, this entire article is powerful and I especially love how you beautifully framed points 2 and 3. So many of our thoughts aren’t ours… and that’s incredibly empowering
thank you so much, kathleen 🥹 that means the world to me! exactly. there's so much power in realizing our thoughts are not in charge, we are. <3
“I have already done this and I succeeded” will now be my new mantra. I love this and the power it holds against our fear!
yay, i'm so glad you're giving yourself that grace!! i hope it gives you as much as it's given me. <3
This is so beautifully written 🤍
thank you, beautiful. <3
no. 3 is going to stay with me — picturing the inner critic as a grumpy old man who "only knows a few sentences" is such a kind, funny way to loosen its grip. and the reminder in no. 6, that fear collects evidence but so can we, feels like exactly the kind of thing I needed today. thank you for this.💗
darling sanskriti <3 i'm glad—that image has helped me on so many days of self-doubt. thank you for reading with such a tender heart and for telling me this landed on a day you needed it. i’m so, so grateful you’re here. 🤍
Those are all really helpful!!
What I do in situations the inner critic or anxiety or fear threaten to take over is, I take a breath and think: what is the next thing I can do right now?
Sometimes it’s fold laundry, find a friend across the room at a party I feel I don’t belong, take a shower—but there is always, always something I can do instead, even super small, and that normally helps sort the thoughts a bit ☺️
thank you, kathi!! and thank you for sharing your wisdom here. 🥹 it really resonates with me that there is always something tiny we can do instead, and that those little actions help sort the thoughts a bit. i’m going to carry this with me!
thank you again for being here and for adding this gentleness to the conversation. <3
love this!💕
love seeing you here angie 🥹<3<3
Love #2. Intuition as felt in the body, and thoughts as urgency worst-case scenarios 🤍
i'm so glad, ellie. thank you for telling me, and for reading so thoughtfully. wishing you a beautiful day. 🤍✮⋆˙
🤍🤍
Love love love! Another shift I have been doing for "what will they think of me" is "what do I think of me?".
ahh thank you, lovely!!! that shift is so beautiful and grounding. i’m going to carry that with me as well. i’m so glad you’re treating yourself kindly by reshaping the way you speak to yourself. 💌
That gap between "I am a failure" and "I'm noticing the thought that says I'm a failure" is tiny, and it's the difference between drowning and watching the water from the dock you describe. I didn't know the distance existed until well into therapy, and even now it's not automatic. Most days I have to build it on purpose, one deliberate half-second where I catch the thought instead of becoming it. What I'd add from my own experience is that the distance shrinks the more tired I am, so on bad days I aim for a smaller version: not calm observation, only naming the thought out loud so it stops pretending to be me. Small, but it holds.
jacob, this is so beautifully put, thank you. your description of drowning and watching the water from the dock is exactly what i was trying to get at, and you captured it so clearly.
i also love that you added the “smaller version” for hard days: naming the thought so it stops pretending to be you. that feels incredibly kind and realistic, and i know it will stay with me for a long time. thank you for bringing this depth and nuance to the conversation, and for meeting the piece with so much care.
this is so true. as someone who’s going through an anxiety disorder and overthinks a lot, this article has been a great reminder that I’m not alone and that I’m safe even though my brain is playing tricks on me :)
marta <3 i’m really glad the piece could be a gentle reminder that you’re not alone and that you’re safe, even when your brain is trying to convince you otherwise. i know how exhausting it can be to live with anxiety and constant overthinking, and you’re doing something really brave by naming it and looking for kinder ways to meet it.
sending you my love and hugs. i’m so grateful you’re here <3
thank you so much 💕
Sofia, “What is my problem right now?” gives anxious thought a boundary and returns the reader to the moment that can actually be lived. The grumpy old man, the social spotlight, and the dock beneath the open sky each make self-observation feel practical and humane. Your final appeal to collect evidence of survival deepens the essay, since self-trust grows through remembered courage as much as present calm. Thank you for giving fear less authority while preserving the humanity of still feeling it.
rev. kevin, thank you so much for this deeply thoughtful reflection. i’m genuinely moved by how closely and kindly you read.
i love how you put this: “gives anxious thought a boundary and returns the reader to the moment that can actually be lived.” that’s exactly what that question has done for me, and it means so much to hear that it resonated that way for you too!
thank you for seeing the piece so clearly, and for taking the time to articulate it with such care. i’m really grateful you’re here and reading. ♡
I echo every reflection here, such beautiful writing, something we are deserve a little reminder of. Perhaps one of my favourite lines; "remember that you are not the storms in your mind" ♡
thank you so, so much for reading so thoughtfully. <3 it means the world that those lines landed with you, especially because it’s something i still have to remind myself of, too.
we really do deserve those gentle reminders every now and then! thank you for being here and for sharing this with me. ♡
“The I’m here to have fun” mentality really struck me because when I watch home videos of myself as a 4 year old that was exactly my energy. Everything and everyone was fun - a potential to dance and giggle and sing.
Now, will I be dancing and giggling and singing in the grocery store or the dentist? No, and definitely no because that could be dangerous 😂 But bringing that energy with me could make things interesting - or at least remind me that my little four year old self is very much still in there.
You managed to touched me deeply again, Sofia. ❤️
Your words are healing to me and I love reading each sentences of this content. Thank you.
this is so beautifully written, thanks for sharing! the image of our inner critic being a grumpy old man is gold, every time I am spiraling and driving myself to tears, I will think of that so I can just...laugh.